improved some wordings

svn path=/trunk/; revision=5752

projects/ipred2/ipred2.en.xhtml

@@ -45,15 +45,14 @@
       infringements of an intellectual property right on a commercial
       scale, and attempting, aiding or abetting and inciting such
       infringements, are treated as criminal offences.&quot;<br />
-      (Article 3.  Page 6 of the
-      dossier: <a
+      (Article 3.  Page 6 of the dossier: <a
       href="http://europa.eu.int/eur-lex/lex/LexUriServ/site/en/com/2005/com2005_0276en01.pdf">com(2005)276</a>)
     </p>
 
     <p>
-      The EU definition of &quot;Intellectual property&quot; lumps
-      together patents, copyright, trademarks, design protections, and
-      many other categories of law.
+      The EU definition of &quot;Intellectual property rights&quot;
+      lumps together patents, copyright, trademarks, design
+      protections, and many other categories of law.
     </p>
 
 
@@ -81,14 +80,13 @@
 
     <p>
       Greatly increasing the risks of software
-      development/distribution will have a chilling effect on
-      producers/distributors who operate in structures that don't
-      include large legal defense
-      funds.  <a href="/documents/freesoftware.html">Free
-      Software</a>, which is often written by individuals and by
-      businesses whose core business is not software, could be
-      particularly harmed by invalidating these
-      development/distribution models.
+      development/distribution will have a particularly chilling
+      effect on producers/distributors who operate in structures that
+      don't include large legal defense funds.
+      <a href="/documents/freesoftware.html">Free Software</a>, which
+      is often written by individuals and by businesses whose core
+      business is not software, could be particularly harmed by
+      making these development/distribution models riskier.
     </p>
 
 
@@ -102,11 +100,11 @@
       without proving anything or even showing any evidence, they have
       accused IBM and others of intentional, commercial-scale
       &quot;IP&quot; infringement, and have slowed the adoption rate
-      of Free Software such
-      as <a
+      of Free Software such as the <a
       href="http://www.gnu.org/gnu/the-gnu-project.html">GNU/Linux</a>
-      and harmed the reputation of a handful of companies (competitors
-      to Microsoft, one of SCO's major funders).
+      operating system and harmed the reputation of a handful of
+      companies (competitors to Microsoft, one of SCO's major
+      funders).
     </p>
 
 
@@ -123,12 +121,11 @@
     <h3 id="grey-areas">Developers in grey areas: DeCSS, filesharing</h3>
 
     <p>
-      The European Copyright Directive
-      (<a
+      The European Copyright Directive (<a
       href="http://europa.eu.int/smartapi/cgi/sga_doc?smartapi!celexplus!prod!CELEXnumdoc&amp;lg=EN&amp;numdoc=32001L0029">com(2001)29ec</a>)
-      increased the scope of copyright infringement.  As well as
-      prohibiting unauthorised copying of information, copyright law
-      now restricts how the public can use technology to access or
+      greatly increased the scope of copyright law.  As well
+      as prohibiting unauthorised copying of information, copyright
+      law now restricts how the public can use technology to access or
       view copyrighted information.  For example, you are a copyright
       infringer if you develop your own software to watch a standard
       DVD that you have bought.  Writing software to share files with
@@ -144,8 +141,7 @@
     <h2 id="text">Reading the proposal text</h2>
 
     <p>
-      The IPRED2 proposal
-      (<a
+      The IPRED2 proposal (<a
       href="http://europa.eu.int/eur-lex/lex/LexUriServ/site/en/com/2005/com2005_0276en01.pdf">com(2005)276</a>)
       has two parts: pages 2 to 8 of the proposal are a Directive, and
       pages 9 to 15 are a Council Framework Decision.
@@ -198,8 +194,7 @@
       <li>
 	We can ask our national governments to reject the Council
 	Framework Decision.  This may remove the legal foundation for
-	the criminal sanctions provisions in the Directive, however
-	<a
+	the criminal sanctions provisions in the Directive, however <a
 	href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1779849,00.html">a
 	recent ruling by the European Court of Justice suggests that
 	it may not</a>.  The Framework Decision needs unanimity from
@@ -212,16 +207,20 @@
 	Ministers to limit criminal sanctions to cases where the
 	infringement was done to fund organised crime or caused a
 	health or safety risk to the public.  Organised crime and
-	health and safety are stated as the justifications of this
-	directive, so tying the Articles to the justifications seems
-	reasonable.
+	public health and safety risks are stated as the
+	justifications of this directive, so tying the Articles to the
+	justifications seems reasonable.
       </li>
 
       <li>
 	We can ask the European Parliament and the Council of
 	Ministers to remove the criminalisation of &quot;attempting,
 	aiding or abetting and inciting [intellectual property right]
-	infringements&quot;.
+	infringements&quot;.  For most (if not all) EU member states,
+	this is proposing harsher punishments for incitement or
+	abetting of &quot;intellectual property right&quot;
+	infringements than currently exist for actually committing
+	such an infringement.
       </li>
 
       <li>
@@ -245,9 +244,9 @@
       reason is that in the cases of investigation, the truth of any
       claimed links to organised crime or health or safety issues
       cannot be confirmed.  A second reason is that it mightn't
-      protect against ludicrous claims that software that benefits the
-      general public also benefits organised crime (e.g. file sharing
-      software).
+      protect against ludicrous claims that software which benefits
+      the general public also benefits organised crime (e.g. file
+      sharing software).
     </p>
 
 
@@ -262,7 +261,7 @@
     </p>
 
     <p>
-      This list has to be gathered, and for that we will need your help.
+      This list has to be gathered, and for that we need your help.
     </p>
 
 
@@ -271,8 +270,7 @@
     <ul>
 
       <li>
-	The
-        proposal: <a
+	The proposal: <a
         href="http://europa.eu.int/eur-lex/lex/LexUriServ/site/en/com/2005/com2005_0276en01.pdf">com(2005)276</a>.
         (Also linked to above.)
       </li>
@@ -310,8 +308,7 @@
       </li>
 
       <li>
-	A ZDNet UK
-	article: <a
+	A ZDNet UK article: <a
 	href="http://insight.zdnet.co.uk/business/legal/0,39020487,39211542,00.htm">Making
 	IP infringement a crime</a>.
       </li>